Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Art of Not Giving a Fuck

We live in dangerous and incendiary times and one of the most incendiary & dangerous things anyone can do nowadays is to quote the O.G. Bunk Moreland give a fuck when it's not your turn to give a fuck. When that happens trust me all kinds of calamity ensues warranted and unwarranted, deserved and undeserved. So your best bet is to learn how to not give a single solitary ranch & cheese(yep you read that right google it) everlasting non-denominational fuck. I'm here to help you on your way to a worry free life on not having any fucks to give.
So here we are you're just staring at me waiting for me to explain my position, and I'm just staring back not a fuck in the world to give. Just like that your first lesson has been taught grasshopper. Boom and your mind is blown...your welcome. It's important for me to explain why giving a fuck is so dangerous,why one simple act of caring can have a life altering, destruction level event to you. So let me explain this simple answer to a complicated question the most vulnerable part of any human being is their heart or better yet their feelings. Once they're damaged there is really no coming back from that loss for most people. The U.S. military spends hundreds of million dollars trying to teach our solders to simply not give a fuck and yet we have even more soldiers coming home broken from the shit they've seen at war. The reason for that is they care about their fellow brothers at arms, the civilians,and the children they've seen dead. It's like having a giant tub of fucks to give and just being submerged in it for 6 months at a time, it's soul crushing. The most common example that we all can relate to is loving someone who either doesn't love you like you love them, or they just don't understand what really goes into being in love with someone and they just quit when it gets hard. Which is the truest test of love(if you stay when it gets difficult and survive). We all know that sickening feeling when your pissed for 12 hours then sad depressed and confused for the other 12. That shit sucks B is the most scientific way it can be described or explained. Don't fret I got you I'm gonna teach u how to empty your pockets of all fucks to give

First and foremost STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT DUMB SHIT!!!! If I hear another delusional asshole say how they feel bad for Kim Kardashian, fucking George Zimmerman or any other rich cheese dick douche nozzle that doesn't deserve our sympathy I swear on all things holy I'm gonna go ape shit and snap necks old school Greek God style. Honestly people why the fuck do you care that Kim Kardashian is no longer married SHE MADE 18 MILLION DOLLARS OFF OF HER WEDDING!!!! Do you not understand that she got married and it cost her nothing she profited 18 millie off of her wedding. To all my married people out there how much did you make off of your wedding, which I'm banking wasn't nearly as lavish as hers, go ahead crunch the numbers I'll wait........done? all set?? did you add it up?? What did you get?? Oh shit balls!! you didn't make a single solitary fucking dollar, it actually put you in debt to get married well go fucking figure. And yet you specially educated people feel bad because she got divorced from some douche bag she was only married to for 4 to 6 months, who really knows how long they were actually married. I'll tell you what though, nobody should give a fuck. She made bank off of her "tragic love life", shit if someone would pay me 18 mil for a difficult time I'd be having shitty days all the time, shit who am I kidding I have shitty days for free all the time.

O.K. O.K. I know you may feel like I'm being harsh, and if you feel really bad about it you should write it down very neatly and succinctly put it in a very nice somewhat expensive envelope seal it, wrap it around a HUUUGGEE frozen dildo and shove it up your ass, because as you may have already guessed I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK and there you go that's your second lesson. When you care about those little silly things that actually have no affect whatsoever on your life it weakens you, for when you have to deal with the things that actually matter and can cause true damage to you. So when Kim Kardashian gets divorced from Kanye just say fuck her, and seriously fuck that guy too they're rich they'll be fine. Or when you somehow think George Zimmerman is being mistreated just remember HE FUCKING KILLED A 17 YEAR 140 LB UNARMED KID after he called him a "coon" on a 911 call.

Actually if you care about how George Zimmerman is being treated just fucking kill yourself. You are useless to society and a burden on all of us so just go jump out in the middle of a freeway filled with tractor trailers going 80 mph, or bite down on a bullet filled with cyanide and gun powder (do they make those? if not we'll get one specially made for you). While we're on this subject let me just say I've seen some of the most retarded and weak minded responses from people of color on this thanks to twitter (seriously fuck you twitter for that, you suck major dick and I mean that with all sincerity). I really just want you all to shut the fuck up about it, most of you are idiots thanks -Management.

Alright my bad had to get that rant out. Moving right along honestly the best way to not give a fuck is to care for about 10 minutes, I mean care a lot, ball your frickin' eyes out throw a huge 7 yr. old temper tantrum like when your mom or dad wouldn't let you go to the fair or amusment park with your friends simply because they were being dicks and just wanted to say no(oh that was just me? welp..you get my point) get it all out. You'll feel so much better trust me, then simply forget about it. Think about the other issues you have the other things you need to worry about like your rent, going to work, being a good parent, friend or even just watching your favorite show. Don't dwell on the bullshit like some asshole who won't call you back, or some fuck face who was rude to you on the phone or at the grocery store. Then when it comes time to actually give a fuck about something that really matters you'll be equipped to deal with it, you'll have the energy and strength to deal with this issues that really matter in your life. Understand? Any questions? Complaints? LOL I'm kidding you know what you can do with all questions and complaints make sure you fuck yourself carefully and vigorously with them squarely up your loose asshole repeatedly, cause I really don't give an everlasting fuck, and with that your last lesson has been taught. Once again your amazed I know, taught without even knowing you've been taught.......your welcome <<<click on that, and shame on you if you actually googled ranch & cheese I am laughing at you in the most disrespectful manner.

5 comments:

  1. I think your message is spreading, because nobody gives a fuck about your website :D

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  2. I must say, this is fucking great.

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  4. And not an single fuck, was ever given again.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't give a fuck about this site

    ReplyDelete